Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Betrayal (Murder of a Moustache)

(A lion of a man displays his mane! ROAR!!)


Today a great act of brutality took place. Loyalty has been repaid with bone chilling, cut throat treachery of the vilest sort. I can no longer look in the mirror without seeing that I must come clean and confess that I alone am the perpetrator of this hideous crime. Yes friends, it is true. Last night I went to bed with the trust of a devoted companion and this morning I woke up and drove my electric sheers deep into his back. In a selfish fury I hacked away tossing him into the waste basket and putting him out to be picked up by the garbage man like piece of burnt toast. I must come clean. The whiskers are on my hands and the guilt is to great of a burden to bear for one man without being crushed. I did it! I cut off my beautiful lip curtain. Now, ashamed and mustacheless, I realize there is only one thing that I can do to set this right. I must grow once more my mustache and document it here for all to see!


Along the way I will do some serious soul searching in order to try to understand this tragic event. In the process I hope to inspire you to grow a moustache of your own. I am doing this in the memory of my late moustache and for all of the young men and women who have thought about growing a fury companion before but have not done so because of fear of the unknown. I hope to lend you support in your endeavor so that you too may be a proud and Mustached American. Please see my before and after picture above and make sure to check back weekly for updates on project Moustache Revival.
A man without his mustache. A shadow of his former self!

5 comments:

  1. Colby... You are SO funny! I am cracking up here! I will try my hardest to grow my own but I really hope it doesn't happen!
    Thanks for the laugh!

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  2. I love Candice's comment above. Too funny that she says she'll try to grow one herself but hopes it won't happen!

    Finn is rockin out to your playlist right now, he is a natural Cock Sparrer fan.

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  3. I'm so glad you finally checked your myspace! Funny thing about the mustache... you look happier without it. You're smiling in the without pic!

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  4. Ohh the drama. Colby you should write books you are so funny and talented! I love you so much! Thanks for calling me tonight. I will be checking back soon to see how the mustache and garden are coming.
    Love ya Brit

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  5. You are hysterical. First of all, I love the stache! Now all you need is a big cowboy hat, a duster and some "sling shooters" aka "Peacemakers!" I never thought that I would ever read anything so insightful about growing a mustache. Had I been able to grow my own, I most certainly would have partaken so that I could be part of the American Mustache Institute. I mean, really, who wouldn't want that?

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